How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
