my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
