Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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