He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
