My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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