Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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