im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
