My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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