i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
