Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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