When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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