Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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