Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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