We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
