I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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