I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
