when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
