I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
