Non-Jews are for practice
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize