who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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