i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
