It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
