Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
