No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
