He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
