Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
there is glitter all over my balls
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