Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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