Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
