my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
