She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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