Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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