I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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