sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
