btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
