You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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