Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
