Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
