I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
