Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize