Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
