so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
