the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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