Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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