Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
