i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
