You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
