would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
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