I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize