Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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