it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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