just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
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I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He did a backflip because drugs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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