i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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