moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
