I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
