32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
