He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
