u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
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It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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