i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize