When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
