Rock
Scissors
Fuck
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
