You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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