She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
