shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
