my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
