You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
