I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize