there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
